Spring is here.
The sun is shining.
The flowers are blooming.
I saw my first hummingbird of the season yesterday afternoon.
Mother’s Day is this Sunday, and my heart is heavy.
This year, I will be without my mother AND my husband.
And I have nothing profound to say.
My heart is grieving today as my life moves on without David. I’m swiftly moving toward buying a new home and starting fresh with my children. I’m growing, I’m learning, I’m shifting. I’m doing everything I’m “supposed” to be doing. From all angles, I’m ok. And I really am. I’m as ok as any young widow could be.
And I’m angry and hurt that I have to do this without my best friend and soulmate. (I know, those are cliché words, but they are true). David was my partner, and I knew he’d never leave me. I knew death would part us and not divorce. We loved each other too much for that, but I knew we had a LOT of growing to do, and we wanted to do it together.
I know he loved me.
I know the power that his addiction and mental illness had over him because I saw both sides of him. I was well-acquainted with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
