My story is one of pain, trauma, abuse and neglect.
It is also one of hope and wonder, longing and joy.
But most importantly, it is a story of resilience and a refusal to be drawn down by the generational curses I inherited.
It was you that gave me the courage to live my life out loud. To tell my story in an unapologetic and truthful way.
I never thought anyone else wanted to hear about my life, about my scars, the wounds that were still open, or my sad attempts to heal them.
I thought so little of myself that I didn’t think my story deserved to be told. I thought that I was just a cry baby who wanted the attention she never got as a little girl. Pathetic and lonely and needing to just grow up.
I was vicious to myself. I hated the parts of me that needed love because love always came with pain. Love wasn’t safe. Love meant yelling and fights, not being heard or seen, giving up my own desires for the sake of the “relationship”.
(FYI, the “relationship” was really my partner because if I insisted on my needs being met they would threaten to leave, so meeting their needs saved the “relationship”.)
But when I take a step back and look at the old me now….I’m blown away.
